I wrote this poem after an agonizing, heart-wrenching break-up with a lover whom I’d left my marriage to be with. I was devastated and went to Bali – my life-long dream – by myself. My first night was at the Honeymoon Hotel. The irony was painful.

It was intensely difficult for me to walk through this time alone. Finally, I was in Bali where everything seemed so romantic, but without my sweetheart. I wrote this poem while sitting on the beach, feeling the ocean waves soothe my soul.

All I wanted was a holy relationship and it turned into a karmic disaster of epic proportions (or so it seemed at the time).

I learned a lot and took some time for reflection, prayer and healing. I really looked into my part in the relationship – where I was loving and where I wasn’t – and forgave myself and my partner. It didn’t happen overnight because there were many layers for me to explore and offer to Spirit for healing. After a few years (yes, years), I felt more whole and a lot more grateful for the entire experience.

This poem is still dear to me. It works for every relationship, not just for estranged lovers. We’re all walking each other home. I hope you enjoy it.

Ana Holub, spoken word. Bodhi Setchko, charango.

 

Turn Around!

Turn around
with me
and walk back
toward the One
who creates us
now in every
eternal moment

(though even “moments” cannot be accurate
and words don’t explain the truth…)

Walk with me anyway,
past craggy mountains and
specks of tired dust,
and the gorgeous beauty
of this budding hibiscus…

We’ll pass familiar
neighborhoods of loneliness
and greed, filled with
desperate acts of believing

But we will not stop
instead, we’ll hold hands
and continue together
as sister and brother

Finally family
not pausing at every corner
that would take too long
in fact, we’d get lost
if we tried to sample it all

Finally family
we’ll journey together
whenever we’re ready
at any intersection
we fancy

Walking linked
emboldened in our union
directly
into
Heaven.

~ Ana Holub, Sanur, Bali 2008

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